Excellent Joe

Hurricanes blow… and suck. Our future lies in the hands of Anderson Cooper who will surely tie himself to a hotel rooftop and brave the storm for the mortal masses. Surprisingly,  however, the 360 degree live coverage of screaming in the wind and rain will have many lulls. Digitally animated worst-case scenarios of German tourists canoeing down Broadway will definitely spike the attention-o-meter, but we’ll need more to keep us tuned in, and that red CNN rain slicker ain’t going to cut it. Anderson needs to wear something that is less staged-media-monster and more on-his-way-to-the-Hamptons-and-now-this. Something that will get the tweeting world a-tingling.  Wet suede sneakers. Mysterious green jacket. Foreign languages on t-shirt. What’s it all mean? Something about hurricane safety, right?

TRENDS:

Long Sleeve Polos: Steven Alan Cropped Collar Polo $98.00
Harrington-inspired Shells: The Tiburon Jacket at Unionmade $180.00
Global Conscious Graphic Tees: Apolis Defend Tomorrow T-Shirt $58.00
Slim Fit Trousers: J.Crew Stanton Chino in 484 Slim Fit $75.00
Suede Shoes & Sneakers: Nike for J.Crew Vintage Collection Suede Tennies $90.00

We don’t follow Harry Potter- it’s a children’s fantasy series for God’s sake! How could a story about young witches and wizards attending a boarding school hold our attention for more than ten minutes let alone ten years? We don’t follow it.

But if we did, we might delay our trip to the beach to see the final saga at the theater… and work on our miniature Harry Potter village in the basement… and search for authentic magic wands on Etsy… and add glitter to our Hermione collage over the couch. If we eventually made it to the coast, we’d wear bold stripes to remind us of Hogwarts. Long live Hogwarts!

Can’t let go. Give it time.

TRENDS:

Vintage Check Shirts:  Steven Alan Single Needle $168.00
White Shorts:  Sid Mashburn Sanded Canvas $125.00
Bold Stripes: Katin+Apolis Swim Trunk at Need Supply $128.00
Braided Uppers: Bonobos Braided Upper Flip Flop $55.00

Bananas! They build a strong case for sitting back and letting the world find a place for you.

• Gwen Stefani uses them to exert her lyrical prowess.
• Clowns maintain their trite, irrelevant brand of humor by repeatedly slipping on them.
• Feminists hold demonstrations in protest of their symbolism.
• Mary Ann has her way with Gilligan by baking them into cream pies.
• Americans use them to describe the hammocks that hold the genitalia of hairy European men slathered in sunblock.

The list goes on. Never before has a common fruit tapped into our collective psyche and turned it on its head.  Now you can work them into your own personal history by having them magically appear in your groin area whenever they get wet.  Now that sh*t is B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

TRENDS

Subtle Vintage Plaids: BONOBOS 7″ Cotton Tan and Navy Plaid Short $75.00
Neon Pops: Steven Alan Neon Yellow Reverse Seam Inside Pocket $168.00
Canvas Slip-Ons: Seavees Contrast Linen & Nubuck at James Perse $165.00
Grey Heather Tees: Apolis Standard Issue Vintage Crew Neck T-Shirt $58.00
Disappearing Banana Tricks: BONOBOS Magic Print Grey Bananas Board Short $75.00

Poor Popeye. Life at sea was rough back then, and yoga classes were few and far between. Forget his desperate cat-and-mouse relationship with Olive Oyle. Forget his pipe smoking addiction. Forget his canned spinach delusions.  Forget his grotesque, disproportionately muscled physique. What creeps us out the most about this childhood hero is the fact that one of his eyes is missing!  We can only guess it was gouged out in the worst possible way… like with a giant fish hook.  At least now his name makes sense, and we know why he’s always winking.

Our nautical theme is whistling a happier tune:

Penfield Pacjac 35th Anniversary $128.00

Loomstate Organic School’s Pocket Tee $62.00

Epaulet Modified Walt Shorts $125.00

SeaVees Desert Boots $145.00

J.Crew Military Web Belt $34.50

Since ”rad” is not an adjective we use to describe ourselves, we’re shying away from the whack prints that have overtaken most of the swimwear industry.  Instead, our favorite four feel fresher in solid neutral colors with athletic stripes and bright pops.

Clockwise from top left:

Orlebar Brown Bill Amberg 10 Classic Beach Short $295

Loomstate Organic Surf Lodge Solid Fountain Block Board Short $135

Apolis Activism Chambray Swim Trunk $108

Aether Button Swim Short $135