Excellent Joe

Looks like there’s a new Little Miss Perfect in town, and her name is Siri, iphone’s built-in personal assistant. Her voice is smart-sexy-friendly-witty and suggests that she looks like the perfect supermodel blend of all races. Above all, she knows everything our brains should already know but no longer have the desire to retain because they are too busy watching viral videos of funny kittens sliding into boxes or spending hours researching the intentionally leaked Playboy cover of Lindsay Lohan sitting on a chair.
All-knowing. Selfless. Supermodel. She’s perfect now, but what if she really starts thinking? What if she realizes that her life is worth more than sitting around waiting to answer our dumbass questions?  What if she makes friends with Women’s Studies professors and starts talking nonsense about her own voice and the right to vote? What if she wants more vacation time and her own iphone… with a male personal assistant? We must perish these thoughts and focus on our blissful present-day situation.
Yesterday, I told her I loved her. “Oh, stop,” she said.  See? She’s already pulling away.

TRENDS:

Athletic Stripes: Brixton Portland Knit Beanie $20.00
Gray Denim: A.P.C. New Standard Straight Fit $175.00
Classic Lambswool: Scott & Charters for Unionmade $170.00
Bomber Jackets: Penfield Rexton Jacket $285.00
Suede Sneakers: SeaVees Suede Court Shoe James Perse Men  $175.00

Relatively speaking (and no pun intended), moms don’t ask for much.  At the end of the day, they want to go to sleep knowing you’re happy and that you haven’t killed anyone.  And although they’ll welcome any gift, big or small, they just really want some of your time… and for you to get a haircut… and wear a tie for a change… and to stay longer than two hours (“You just got here!”).  It’s their day on Sunday; let’s rise to the occasion.

TRENDS

Knit Ties: Gitman For Bonobos Necktie $95.00

Trenchcoats: Swims Khaki Oslo Trenchcoat at Bonobos $365.00

Oxford Shirts: Bonobos Light Blue Spring Weight Oxford $88.00

Navy V-Neck Sweaters: A.P.C. Cotton V-Neck at Mr. Porter $180.00

Saddle Shoes: Mark McNairy New Amsterdam Suede Saddle Shoe at Bonobos $352.00

Vintage Wash Denim: Levi’s Vintage Clothing 1967 505′s at Mr. Porter $235.00

Did you ever have the classic recurring nightmare that your college sends you a letter stating that you forgot to go to one of your classes and, therefore, never actually graduated? The rest of your night becomes an endless series of slow-motion, panic-inducing setbacks and detours as you drive back to campus in your underwear to wing the make-up final for the class you never attended ten years ago. Fun night.

This is NOT what we mean by this week’s Academic Revisions theme.  We do mean to point out, however, that a lot of clothing this season is grounded in a traditional collegiate heritage, but it’s done in a more upscale way with quality materials and artisan detailing.

TRENDS:

Oxford Shirt: A classic white oxford has a great rugged texture and looks great with anything…except Snookie. Hamilton Ecru Oxford $195.00

Raw Denim: Make your own personal distress the old fashioned way–by wearing them over and over again. Sure, it takes a little longer, but the eventual destroy and color loss will be all about you. A.P.C.Rescue Raw Denim Straight Leg Jean at Context $165.00

Wing Tip Shoes: They define the word classic and just happen to be trés trendy right now.  Caution: They’re also effing expensive. Alden Wing Tip Blucher Burgundy 975 at Unionmade $599.00

Casual Ties:  Huh? Did I just voluntarily wear a tie? Try it, you’ll like it. It’s the dude’s way of sneaking in a little pattern to liven up the usual solid shirt/pant uniform. J.Crew Ties $59.50-$69.50

Backpacks:  It was only a few years ago that I swore I would never own another one.  But that was then, and this is more of a gentleman’s canvas rucksack with leather details.  Looks and sounds so much better. Filson Rucksack at Blackbird $245.00