Excellent Joe

Home for the holidays. Thirty-Relatives-In-One-House Day.  Cousin Liddy-Beans (it’s always the one with the WTF nickname) has sequestered you in the corner of the dining room so that she can finish telling you about her tricky driveway: hence, the arm sling and the incessant request for a ride home. She’s slurring on 25 minutes now, [...]

Everyone knows the story.  Rudolph is different. He has a red nose.  His genius parents think they’re helping by covering it up with dirt (thanks Mom and Dad). All the other bully reindeer punks not only laugh and call him names, but also won’t let him join in any reindeer games (this is well-documented). Enter [...]

Looks like there’s a new Little Miss Perfect in town, and her name is Siri, iphone’s built-in personal assistant. Her voice is smart-sexy-friendly-witty and suggests that she looks like the perfect supermodel blend of all races. Above all, she knows everything our brains should already know but no longer have the desire to retain because [...]

Do you ever find yourself hating on a holiday party because you are certain that the one you chose not to attend will redefine the concept of fun and be talked about for years to come? Do you ever find yourself in a restaurant hating on where the server seated you because you are certain [...]

People are always telling you that before you can love anyone else, you have to love yourself.  So don’t start the selfless journey of holiday shopping until you spend a few weeks buying self-focused gifts.  The clinical term for this behavior is “practice shopping,” and studies have shown that it can jump start your holiday [...]

Cyber Monday. Sounds suspect. I’m picturing millions of people in front of their computers in makeshift warrior space suits of duct tape and old sports equipment, e-bracing themselves for the 30% off flash sale tables and e-scrambling to check out before their chosen items have been bought up by the quicker, more experienced cyber shopper [...]

I’m an athletic, health-conscious sort of person; however, running a marathon is not something on any of my To Do lists (which can be more accurately defined as To Do notebooks in a giant bin). “Bad knee” or “not enough slow-twitch muscle fibers” are my favorite excuses, but, truthfully, it just seems like torture. Watching [...]

Welcome to THIS Saturday; let’s try something different. Skip the shower; you’ve already taken thousands of them. Ignore the sticky note To Do lists that are screaming for your attention. Other than your mouth, refrain from using all other communication devices. Grab a coffee and make out with attractive strangers. (Kidding, but don’t rule out [...]